The 2008 Season for Nonviolence is especially meaningful, since it marks the 50th anniversary of the death of Mahatma Gandhi (January 30) and the 30th anniversary of the death of Martin Luther King Jr. (April 4). These men of peace understood that violence goes far beyond the act of physically harming another.

Minister Brian Walker teaches nonviolent communication to students at Unity Village. He says “Violence is anything you do or think that results in a disconnection between you and your deepest self or between you and the deepest self of another person. By contrast, nonviolence involves being connected to what is most alive within you, the divine Spirit – or Christ within.”

Nonviolent communication starts with the understanding that humans share the same basic, universal needs – for love, support, freedom, recognition and so on. Wounding words can lead to healing dialogue when people listen for and connect with the real need.

Brian cites an example from everyday life: “An elderly parent says sarcastically to an adult child, ‘I enter the room and you get up to leave.' In this situation, many of us would say nothing or make a noncommittal comment in reply.”

An alternative way to deal with the situation, says Brian, is this: “Consider what might be an unmet need behind the remark. For example, the parent may be using sarcasm to mask her loneliness. A nonviolent response would be to reply, ‘So, Mom, it sounds like you want to spend some time with me.' You will be amazed at what happens to your relationships when you try to understand the person's needs.”

Brian suggests the following ways to use nonviolent communication to make your world a better place:

1. Spend some time each day quietly reflecting on how you would like to relate to yourself and others.
2. Remember that all human beings have the same needs.
3. If you are feeling upset, think about what need of yours is not being met and what you could do to meet it, instead of thinking about what's wrong with others or yourself.
4. Instead of saying what you don't want someone to do, say what you do want the person to do.
5. Check your intention to see if you are as interested in others getting their needs met as your own.
6. Instead of saying no, say what need of yours prevents you from saying yes.
7. Before agreeing or disagreeing with anyone's opinions, try to tune in to what the person is feeling and needing.

For more on A Season for Nonviolence, visit the Association for Global New Thought at www.agnt.org.


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