A Prayer for Children: Releasing Resentment

How to Clear Our Harmful Feelings

As guiding grownups, we know the damage that holding on to resentment and hurt can do to our relationships, our ability to show up openhearted, and our general well-being. What we may not know is what to do about it.

So today, as you’re likely reading this to share with the children in your life, it’s my hope you share it with your own inner child as well. That adds the bonus of multigenerational healing!

Moving through life with anger or hurt we can’t forgive is like walking around with a load of bricks strapped to our back. Imagine … It would be so hard to move! You’d be stooped over, always in pain, probably grouchy, and generally no fun for anyone to be around, even yourself. Do you know some people carrying those invisible loads right now, no matter how young or old they are? It’s not about age; it’s about what we choose to carry. And we do have a choice.

You may be wondering how to set down the bricks. Here are a few things you might try (at any age):

• Realize that what other people do isn’t about you. It’s about something happening inside them. It’s not okay for them to hurt you, but this might help you understand that you don’t need to take in what they’re putting out. If someone is doing something to you that they shouldn’t, or they’re being mean or unsafe, leave them and find someone who can help.
• Take a Power Pause. When you feel a wave of anger or hurt building up, you can stop it from growing by taking a time out. Then you can breathe deeply; or count down from 10; maybe sing your ABCs; find several things to look at that remind you of peace; pray and meditate; or take a walk. Give yourself the gift of time and space to calm down. You will be glad you did!
• Work it out. Physical movement and activity can help move angry or hurt feelings through your body. Jump up and down, run fast, do exercises, maybe put on some music and sing as loud as you can while dancing. Don’t let the feelings settle in your body; they need to get out.
• Make something of it! Get creative. Write it all down or draw pictures of your anger, then scribble over it, and rip or ball up the paper. Make something out of clay then smash it. Build your anger out of blocks and then knock it down. Get creative with something that allows you to get the feeling outside you, then set it free.
• Ride the wave and let it flow. Feelings come and go, like waves on the shore. They aren’t good or bad; they are there to help you know what’s going on inside and what you need to pay attention to. When you feel a feeling rising in you, first name it. Are you angry? Hurt? Scared? Frustrated? Figure out what it is, let yourself feel it, and see if you can pinpoint why you’re feeling that way. Then thank it for letting you know what needs attention to. If you need to hug a favorite person, a pillow, or stuffed animal to help you ride the wave, go right ahead. When you let feelings do what they are there to do—instead of pushing them down and pretending everything is fine—your body will understand and the feelings will move through you, not get stuck inside.

Whatever you choose, the goal is to allow your emotions to help you feel life’s hurts, then move them outside of you. Let them flow and let them go.

A Prayer for Release in All Children

In this moment, I step out of the day’s activities and into the awareness of God. Taking a few deep breaths, I relax into the sacred center within. I call to mind and heart a child who seems to be stuck in feelings or even my own issue that is holding me back from feeling free. I affirm: We are letting it go and letting it flow. The energy moves out so we can feel cleansed and cared for.

A Shared Family Prayer for Release

We are grateful for the energy that flows through what we are feeling. We welcome our emotions, we thank them for their help, and we release them to go on their way. We take a shared breath of gratitude as we declare, “What life is revealing, we are feeling and allowing our healing. Thank you, God, and so it is.”

Together we affirm:

Did you know? All children are welcome to pray with Unity Prayer Ministry associates.