Sacred Space, Safe Space

I held my breath as I walked through the door. Something was very different and somehow, without understanding why, I knew my life was changed forever.

More than a decade ago now, I walked into a Unity center for the first time—through a door held open by a transwoman who served as greeter that day. Though time has passed since that fateful day, I recall the temperature outside, the position of the sun shining through the swaying branches of nearby trees, the scent of her perfume as she hugged me, and the warmth in her voice as she welcomed me into her spiritual community. And I remember the moment I lost my breath, trembling inside as my feet carried me forward, stunned by the notion that a church would allow a transwoman to serve as a greeter—the first point of contact for all who would attend the service. Could this be a safe, sacred space for me and my family?

In Unity, I found love and acceptance through a theology of oneness—that there is only one presence and one power active in the universe, and that presence is in each of us without exception.

Keep in mind that at that time (2009), only six states had legalized same-sex marriage. Conversely, other states were in a frenzy to amend their constitutions to prohibit same-sex marriage. It was extremely rare at that time for openly gay individuals or couples to be approved as foster or adoptive parents. It would be six years before the Supreme Court ruled in favor of James Obergefell, who sought to be named as surviving spouse on his husband’s death certificate, which legalized same-sex marriage nationally. It was a very different time in some ways, yet we still have a long way to go to create spiritual safety for the LGBTQIA+ community.

Afraid of Rejection

I held my breath entering Unity that day because I was afraid of rejection and perhaps more afraid that I would be fooled into believing I could find acceptance in any church. My experience of spiritual community up until that point used scripture to justify hatred and rejection, convincing me that as a queer woman I had no place in God’s kingdom. I had internalized the belief that I was an abomination to God, yet I could not reconcile that belief with my personal experience of God. Even through prayer, meditation, and reflection on scripture, I simply did not dare to let myself fully believe the divine love I already felt: The God of my understanding loved me. It made no sense, so I stopped praying. I stopped studying scripture, something I had loved to do since childhood.

Then came Unity.

A Theology of Oneness

In Unity, I found love and acceptance through a theology of oneness—that there is only one presence and one power active in the universe, and that presence is in each of us without exception. I found a path to ministry and leadership as an openly queer person, and six years after my first encounter with Unity, I became an ordained Unity minister. In that first Unity center, as in many that I have visited over the years, there were many same-sex couples and individuals, many members of the LGBTQIA+ community, and those who are questioning their gender or sexual orientation. In an effort to amplify and create structure around the way a spiritual community is organized as a sacred and safe space, I gathered a group of leaders together and established Folx with Faith.

Today, 64 countries on the planet still criminalize homosexuality. While we have made great progress in the realm of rights and equality, even in the U.S. there are still many communities in which it is not safe to be openly LGBTQIA+. Folx with Faith is dedicated to providing safe space for the LGBTQIA+ community to explore spirituality. Like me, many LGBTQIA+ folks have been told they are damned, which wounds the heart and soul. In this wounding, many have been excluded from spiritual community where they could explore their own understanding of God inside an assumption of belonging and oneness.

Finding liberation in spiritual exploration is healing in and of itself. Finding a supportive and loving community in that exploration is transformational. The Unity teaching that we all have a spark of the Divine within us is pure medicine to anyone who has been pushed out of sacred spaces. It is in this principle that we discover the opportunity to be the presence of divine love on earth. Spiritual principle transcends laws set by state and country and reaches right into the soul, revealing a path to spiritual liberation. If we all have a spark of the Divine, we are living expressions of God—each and every one of us.

How Can You Offer a Safe Space?

You might be wondering how you can offer a safe space for the LGBTQIA+ community. It is likely true that, if not you, someone you love and care about is gay or transgender or nonbinary. LGBTQIA+ allies have an important and sacred role to play in cultivating safe space and community. Simple acts of love like learning about how to use various pronouns, celebrating Pride Month, reading books and articles by LGBTQIA+ authors, or sharing pro LGBTQIA+ content on social media go a long way to influence culture and show your support to those you care about—and perhaps those who have not yet found the courage to live their truth openly. Wearing T-shirts that show you are an LGBTQIA+ ally, like the Unapologetically Inclusive shirt from Unity, or wearing a pin like the Unity Pride pin are easy ways to wear your heart on your sleeve. This allows you to be easily identified as a safe and supportive presence to someone who, like I was so many years ago, might be holding their breath wondering if they will be met with acceptance and welcomed to be just exactly who they were created to be.