The Tests and Blessings of Parenthood

How being part of the LGBTQ rainbow helped me be a better parent

I know this can sound trite and as cheesy as the macaroni and cheese I make once a week for my 7-year-old son, Lucas, but being a parent has been one of the biggest blessings of my life.

Growing up, I always thought I would get married and have children. Even as I struggled in the closet, I knew one of the reasons I would eventually come out and make peace with living as my true self was because it would create the space to have my own family.

However, when it finally happened, it was so much more of a healing experience than I ever expected.

My Truth as a Foundation for His

Being part of the beautiful LGBTQ rainbow prepared me to be the best parent I can be. It gave me a strong sense of the importance of living my life in an authentic way. It gave me a deep sensitivity to ensuring that Lucas grows up knowing he is whole and perfect, just as he was created.

By claiming my truth, I am giving him an even stronger foundation to claim his. I try to teach him, to the best of my abilities, that he doesn’t have to conform to societal norms. He can be exactly who he is meant to be. The beauty is that as I teach him I am also reminding myself. Being conscious of nurturing self-love within Lucas continues to bring me to a more expanded practice of self-acceptance.

Any parent will tell you that self-love and self-acceptance are deeply needed in us. I make mistakes. I sometimes realize I’m even trying to get Lucas to conform, to do what is expected. Lots of people comment on how children will test you. Oh, they do!

The biggest test is this: Do you believe the things you say you believe?

“Our purpose has been to help you discover the finest qualities within yourself.”—Myrtle Fillmore

Our Shared Truth Is Love

Part of my spiritual practice is understanding and affirming that we are all expressions of good and are to be celebrated for our individuality.

Well, some mornings can be tough. I wake up Lucas, get him ready for school, make breakfast for him, make his lunch, and even have the audacity to think we should get to school on time.

When Lucas’s personality or interests on a particular morning make this challenging, I forget. Then I remember and realize the beauty of parenthood is not only to celebrate how much we have healed and become empowered, but to show us the places where healing still needs to take place.

Just above the kitchen counter, I have a note to myself especially for mornings. It reads in big letters: “Love. Serve. Remember.”

I practice showing up in love and as love.

I practice being of service to Lucas and serving his highest good.

I try very hard to remember his truth and remind him of it also.

For me, parenthood can be summed up in a quote from Myrtle Fillmore, cofounder of Unity and the mother of three boys. She wrote, “Our purpose has been to help you discover the finest qualities within yourself.”

In doing this for Lucas, I have discovered the finest qualities within me also.

Together with my amazing son and wonderful husband, we walk this path of self-discovery and love.