When the Death Is Suicide

Suicide as the cause of death carries more stigma in our culture than any other cause. The shock, guilt, and feeling of senselessness felt by those who know and love the one who passed are amplified by what is often perceived as a preventable death.

While grief is a process that each goes through in his or her own way, if you are dealing with someone’s death by suicide, it may hasten your healing to know that all are surrounded by love across the veil, no matter how they passed.

After my stepdaughter Susan was killed when she was struck by lightning, I embarked on a journey to discover whether she still exists. A visit with a respected medium provided my husband and me irrefutable evidence that Susan does indeed continue to exist at a higher level of consciousness.

After Susan’s death, I began meditating daily in hopes of connecting with her myself. In doing so, I discovered a reality far greater than this limited physical world and that all of us are part of this indivisible field of intelligence, creativity, and divine love.

Stop yourself from asking “why” and focus instead on what you can do to make the world a better place for your loved one having been in it.

I learned that those who pass are alive, well, and actively engaging with us at a soul level. I also learned that I can communicate with these “spirit people” quite clearly.

I now serve as an evidence-based medium, which is a far cry from my former career. I am a retired U.S. Navy commander. I served as a commanding officer and as the aide to the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the head of the United States military.

I am a no-nonsense woman, and nothing short of overwhelming evidence of the continuity of consciousness would allow me to make the bold statements I share with you here. Trust me: The preponderance of evidence leaves no doubt that death is merely a transition to another chapter in our eternal lives as souls.

Nothing but Love

In my work, I have communicated with hundreds of people who passed by suicide. In every case, they validate their presence by sharing with me things I couldn’t have known, such as the exact manner of their death, what kind of work they did, and special memories that one could never find on Google. I feel their distinct personality quite clearly, and I’m able to share their essence in a way that leaves their family members saying, “That’s them!”

The most important thing I have learned about suicide is that those who took their own lives are not burning in hell. In more than 10 years of doing this healing work, every person who hastened their own death has shared with me that they were met with nothing but love.

In most cases, but not all, there is instant regret. In all cases, they are shown how their decision to leave Earth School early cut short the opportunities for their soul’s growth, and they feel the effects of their decision on those who love them.

To help process these insights and feelings, most souls who pass by suicide find themselves in a healing place with a soft blue light. They are ministered to by loving guides who specialize in this kind of situation.

Just like all souls who cross the veil, our loved ones do their best to send signs to those they left behind that they still exist. As they heal, they wish for their loved ones to forgive them and to find healing.

Finding a Way Forward

I have learned that souls agree to take on certain challenges when we come into human form, but souls do not deliberately plan to take their own lives. We may, however, sign up for greater challenges than others, with the awareness that these tests may push us to the brink. We are always encouraged from across the veil to stay and use these challenges as opportunities to grow, but with the gift of free will, not everyone makes this choice.

Many people adjusting to a loved one’s passing equate the amount of grief with the amount they loved. Don’t make this mistake. Knowing that your loved one feels your pain, show them that you are doing your best to adjust and work to establish a new kind of relationship without their physical presence. Talk to them and trust that they hear you.

Find a support group so you will know you’re not alone. One such group for parents of children who have passed, helpingparentsheal.org, encourages the open discussion of the afterlife. These members find hope and healing by sharing stories of their loved ones’ continued presence in their lives, no matter how they passed.

The No. 1 question asked by those affected by a loved one’s death by suicide is “Why?” You may never receive a satisfying answer to this question, and in truth, it serves no purpose. Stop yourself from asking “why” and focus instead on what you can do to make the world a better place for your loved one having been in it.

Move forward knowing they are still in your life, if only in a different form.

Excerpted from the Unity booklet Grief Is a Spiritual Practice.